Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Send Me, Lord. I Beg You, Send Me.



WHEN THE SAINTS
Sara Groves

Lord I have a heavy burden of all I've seen and know
It’s more than I can handle
But your word is like a fire
Shut up in my bones
and I can’t let it go

And when I'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought

I think of Paul and Silas in the prison yard
I hear their song of freedom rising to the stars
And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them

Lord it's all that I can't carry and cannot leave behind
It all can overwhelm me
But when I think of all who’ve before and lived the faithful life
Their courage compels me

And when I'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought
I think of Paul and Silas in the prison yard
I hear their song of freedom rising to the stars

I see the shepherd Moses in the Pharohs court
I hear his call for freedom for the people of the Lord

And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them

I see the long quiet walk along the Underground Railroad
I see the save awakening to the value of her soul

I see the young missionary and the angry spear
I see his family returning with no trace of fear

I see the long hard shadows of Calcutta nights
I see the sister standing by the dying man's side

I see the young girl huddled on the brothel floor
I see the man with a passion come and kicking down the door

I see the man of sorrows and his long troubled road
I see the world on his shoulders and my easy load

And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them
and when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them
I want to be one of them
I want to be one of them

Lord, when I think of all those who, before me, have lived the courageous and purposed driven life; as I stop to reflect on the saints who have walked the long and grueling road of a royal child, destined to serve their King, I stand in awe.  A whispered, "Selah" escapes my lips and weakness overtakes my knees, as I fall onto the floor under the weight of your majestic glory.  The spirit of Isaiah creeps into my heart forcing my lips to exasperate his missionary declaration, "Here am I. Send me!"  Still, You do no cease to pour into my mind's eye vision stapled to vision, photographs tied to clips of film, and prayers entangled with desperate cries from every people group and spoken in every tongue.
[Papa] Yes, Beloved.  My answer is always yes. Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.’ (Matt. 7:7)  If you long for an unquenchable desire for the nations, the answer is YES! If you yern to sprint, dive, even fall head first into a deeper, unending journey of intimacy with Me, the answer is YES!  Sweetheart, Beloved, the answer to your longings, passions, humble (sometimes even demanding) desires [requests] is undeniably Yes.  Do not relent in your request of my love.  Do not stop contending for my gift of unexplanitory peace or my almost unbearable joy.  Yes!  What is it that I say in my Word, you know (He says to me winking and I know He intends to tell me that I should know for I should be in His Word much more than I am) in 1 Corinthians 1:20 For no matter how many promises God has made, they are ‘Yes’ in Christ.  And so through him the ‘Amen’ is spoken by us to the glory of God.”  My answer is always YES and AMEN!  Sweetheart, *laughing* you have no idea of the expanse, the depth, the sheer magnitude of my love for you.  Yes and amen!  I am always awaiting your petitions with yeses and amens. Press into my love, Baby.  There, there is provision.  There, there is abundance.  There, *laughing followed by a sigh* is all I hold in store for you, like a dam on the edge of bursting with a flood of my presence; ready to fill and saturate every corner of your life.  Do not give in!  And do not give up!  Press into me and you will receive.  Press into my love and you will never lack.  Run to my arms with your anger and your painful tears.  [Jesus] There, as you sit on our Father’s knee and lay your head against His chest, listening to the beat of His heart, allow your shoulders to shake violently and your sobs to break free in torrents.  Do not be afraid of baring the scars of war, for I will meet you there.  I’ve already won redemption and our Father’s grace is stronger than sin, ANY sin.  Don’t worry, we’ll show off our battle wounds together, selah, for all of them give glory to our Papa.
[Papa] Focus on Me and Christ’s healing will envelope your heart.  Pursue Me and my love for my people will, like a utter mess of sticky honey, splatter onto the people you encounter.  Always remember that there is more to Me than you have already encountered and there is more of Me for you to receive.  Do not relent.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”
And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”
Isaiah 6:8

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Childhood, Return to Me

Why were we so hurried? What drove that compelling urge to flee from infancy and plunge into the chaos of maturity? Fools, we are assuredly fools; to flee from the simplicity of park swings and imaginary friends. To leave behind our mountains of toys and libraries coloring books. Return to me, those endless afternoons of skipping hop-scotch and catching fire flies. Regress with me to those days of recess and nap time, in a world where Mommy and Daddy knew everything and McDonald's was God's manna from heaven. Set me atop my old bicycle seat and I would have been your guide to an adventure that no maturated mind could have fathomed. Place between the chains of any lonely park swing and I could have showed you how to stretch your wings and fly. I stand, now though, as a witness to that which lies beyond the threshold we once dared to venture. Heartbreak and emptiness inevitably accompany age and time. These weary bones testify to the wear and tear of the road less traveled; a road rigged with traps and thieves. Do not fear, though, in those darkest hours, for we are not really fools as long as we keep in our company the Spirit of joy and insatiable peace. Yet still, I long for the days of simplistic childhood. Childhood, return to me for I long to lavish in the warmth of your angel rays.





Classic ORU Things I Have Never Done

  1. Gone to 3D (...and called it "church")
  2. Climbed the Praying Hands
  3. Kissed in front of Claudius (or fought in front of EMR for that matter)
  4. Been on an ORU mission trip
  5. Participated in Narnia's Halloween party
  6. Gotten engaged
  7. Been asked (or attended) Homecoming
  8. Sledded on a SAGA tray
  9. Run the Howard Run

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Painful Loneliness

Lord, look at all of these broken people. Woah, was I just talking about them or myself?

Oh God, I'm afraid pain has penetrated my spirit and saturated my heart. Cast iron chains bind my wrists and and enslave me to this empty loneliness. Ouff! Another blow to the chest, a stab wound in my flesh. Nausea builds in my abdomen. I swallow in attempts to squelch my urge to vomit. With tears streaming down my face, I lift my head towards the heavens, "Papa! Where does my help coming from?" Fear builds inside my mind, how long will this hell endure? [Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit. Psalm 51:12] [I have seen his [willful] ways, but I will heal him; I will lead him also and will recompense [repay] him and restore comfort to him and to those who mourn for him. Isaiah 57:18]

Psalm 121
 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
   where does my help come from? 
My help comes from the LORD,
   the Maker of heaven and earth.
 He will not let your foot slip—
   he who watches over you will not slumber;  
indeed, he who watches over Israel
   will neither slumber nor sleep.
 The LORD watches over you—
   the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
 nor the moon by night.
 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
 he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going 
both now and forevermore.